Video from the Courier Journal story

http://bcove.me/gzqbo04k


Link to the video of my story coming up in the Courier Journal

Call from HR...

I received a call from Metro HR today. The call was regarding my Americans with disabilities paperwork. The form was left rather vague by my physician, and she wanted me to list what accommodations I think I may need. I explained to her that the medical team expects me to be able to function close to 100% by August and I won't know what, if any accommodations I may need until I am actually attempting to do the job. I also found out that they will be working with EMS to decide if it will be "detrimental or infeasible for the service to make arrangements in my employment." This all seems to me to be a very nice way of saying, HR is leaving it up to EMS to decide if you have a career here. So, I continue my uphill battle against the grain here. I'm not sure if I will ever be able to return to LMEMS, I sure hope to continue my career there. It seems that nobody knows when or if I'm being terminated. Nobody knows the date they have chosen to use, as a refresher, I was injured in May but was able to work light (modified duty) for a little while in October. So, which date they choose will make the date I'm terminated. If I am let go I have had several people tell me that "you can just reapply," I'm just not sure I can do that. If they want me, if I'm family, then why not just give me the time? I'm just hoping that the Dr and Physician's estimates are correct and I am ready by August. I am able to put all my weight on the prosthetic side now. I'm able to walk a few steps, the problem is they aren't pretty by any means. I'd rather take 3 perfect steps than take 1,000 ones that aren't perfect. My goal is to get to the point where when I walk you can't distinguish that I'm walking on a prosthetic. An integral part of being a paramedic is gaining the trust of your patient. I don't want anything to get in my way of forming that trust. In a matter of seconds a patient has decided if they are going to trust you or not, all patient care is derived from that trust.

Another day of PT tomorrow. Still no word from the Mayor's office, remember this Sunday April 15th I'll be in the Courier Journal

Tired of stressing

I'm so tired of being stressed. It seems I make a decision to stop worrying about one thing and another decides to rear its  ugly head. It never fails. The past year I have on a regular basis had one trail replaced with another. I had decided that I'm not going to worry about where I work or even if I'm going to be a medic, that gets replaced with more stress from a personal issue that I can't go into here. Just needless to say I'm ready for a break that doesn't involve one of my bones.

On a more positive note, tomorrow is another day of physical therapy. At least I know that I can use some of this frustration to better myself. In high school our football program had the motto "Bigger, Stronger, Faster" this is my goal. I want to be bigger, stronger, and faster than I was prior to the fall. Hey I'm already one leg lighter so I'm more aerodynamic. I've started working on a balance ball, with and without the leg on. This is helping me find where my center of gravity has switched to, in most above knee amputees it moves up and to the right. This is true of me as well. Now I have to train my center of gravity to get back down where it belongs when I'm wearing the leg, and back up when I take the leg off. It's been recommended that I do some sort of martial art, this will help me find my center of gravity, switch it when needed, and help me defend myself when needed at work...it get's hairy in the field from time to time.

Tomorrow's a new day. Hopefully, it will be better than today.

11 Stories, 11 months

It's been 11 months to the day since I fell. It's hard to believe that 11 months ago my life was going great. I was dating my best friend, I was about to start my vacation. I had decided that I was going to take a month off for the first time in six years. It was going great. I was precepting an amazing new paramedic, I loved being able to teach him and prepare him for the busy and pressure filled world of Metro EMS. I was excited for my vacation to recharge my batteries and then go back refreshed and ready to move up the ranks at metro EMS. I had no idea that one month later, what started as an amazing day would change my life forever.

Now I'm on the precipice of another life altering decision. I'm fighting tooth and nail to go back to a service who is making it obvious has no interest in my return. Don't get me wrong, my coworkers are very supportive, for the most part. There are a few who are unsupportive, but I realize I'll encounter that anywhere I go. For the rest of my life I'll have to prove myself, I'm ok with that. I have just realized that even if LMEMS takes me back, I'll spend every shift walking on eggshells because I'll be a target for command. They say "even if we fire you, we will take you back as soon as you're ready." Now, my biggest supporter, our former Car 1 (operations command) has retired and with that coupled with the mayors office ignoring my every request to speak with the mayor and the radio silence that has met every message on the social media front, do I really want to go back there. What keeps me wanting to return are the amazing people I worked with. I had the pleasure of working with some of the finest EMT's and Patamedics in the state. I hate to lose that but I deserve better. I'm no hero, but I've had enough stressing over this and losing sleep worrying about pleasing them. I will go back to the streets. I may be on a truck or fly, but I'll be there somewhere. 11 months ago I nearly died. The laws of physics were against me, and you know Gravity is the law and you can't break it, but it surely tried to break me. I fell 11 stories, worked for months to save a leg that didn't work, amputated said leg, and now am well ahead of where I should be. That's not good enough for an exception or extension then I'll find an agency that would love to have a Prosthetic Medic.

In one month I'll be one year out. I will be off of the cane and proudly walk out of my house that day. I hope to return to Tioga Falls, the bottom this time, and not the fast way I took last time. I just want to go there and bury this, look my demon in the eye and get on with life. 11 stories, 11 months, and I'm alive. I'm going to make the best of it if you don't want me, somebody else does.

So sore...but it's worth it

I am so sore. I fell at physical therapy on Thursday and feel like I've been in a car wreck. I've upped my physicality at PT, started practicing how to lunge down to a patient's side, how to get up quickly and move on, and of course walking on the treadmill with my physical therapist while he changes the speed so I have to adapt my gait quickly. I'm hoping to lose the cane within the next 2 weeks to a month and start working on endurance and uneven surfaces. I have a goal. I have a plan. I am going to return to work in August, where I'll be working is yet to be seen. I have heard exactly nothing from Metro Government other than a letter each month when it's time to pay my insurance fees. At least I get to keep my health insurance for another month, I'm trying to just face each day one at a time and make the best of it. Tomorrow my goal is to work on lifting a stretcher into the ambulance over at Kate's agency. I've been welcomed to come over there and work anytime I'm ready. Tomorrow, I just want to get the feel for how the leg will react to this, to see how I have to adjust my body mechanics to work on loading and unloading patients to get ready for the future.

Upping the Ante

Ok....another day and still no word from anyone at Metro Government. So...once again. Mayor Greg Fischer's social network information is @LouisvilleMayor on Twitter and Mayor Greg Fischer on Facebook.  I know posts are being deleted, but I'm hopeful that a few get through to Mayor Fischer's eyes. If all else fails I'll move on to email. Louisville was just voted one of the "Most Compassionate Cities in the US," I just want some of that compassion extended to me, not that I've earned it, but I'm working my tail off to come back and just would like that chance. If all else fails I'll post his email address.

I will be featured in the local newspaper on Sunday April 15th, they are doing a story about my fight to return to work as a paramedic and where I am now. As always, I have remained positive about my employer, since I honestly love working at Louisville Metro EMS and consider it my home. I have spent the last 6 years serving the city of Louisville's residents. I have touched countless lives with my care and wish to continue to do so. Tomorrow will be a new experience for me. While I have my normal physical therapy, tomorrow I'll be doing it with a photographer. For those of you reading from outside the Louisville/Kentucky area the reporter told me that it will be featured online as well. I'll let you know when the story is up. This is the big news I was referring to recently. I may also be doing another Wave 3 interview to show there where I am now and bring more attention to my goal. I'm going to start swimming soon and have started the work towards getting my balance and strength down. Sunday I'm going to try out working on getting the stretcher in and out of the ambulance, I have to figure out how to do the tasks I did before with the prosthetic on.

On an unrelated note...Please keep 2 of my coworkers in your prayers. They were involved in an accident while running code 3. Both were transported to the University of Louisville ER and are expected to be OK.

Still No Word

OK....Still no response from Mayor Fischer...I think that this speaks volumes to where I actually stand. Many months ago, in fact, just shy of 11 months ago I had the entire command staff at Louisville Metro EMS standing next to me in the hospital bed at University of Louisville Hospital. They came in there with my friends, my family, and my fiance, they came in and said I was family and that they will do what ever I need. Whatever....I....Need


I need insurance, I need my retirement, I need you to fulfill what you had told me. I'm what most people would describe as a "country boy" so to me when you give your word about something, I trust that you are going to follow through with whatever you said you'll do. Guess that makes me odd for this area. If I give me word I follow through, as best as I can. If I tell you that you're family, then I will do whatever is necessary to help you. It's just frustrating, but I'm not done fighting for what I want, for where I'm supposed to be.


On a completely different note, I'm going to start training to up my endurance, my strength, and my balance. My physical therapist has told me that if I can strengthen my hip flexor muscles and start training them to act as my ankle. When standing on one leg, the prosthetic that is, then my muscles in my hip have to act like an ankle. Want to know how this feels, try balancing on your knee on the edge of your couch. That's how it feels. So, hopefully tomorrow I'll start swimming and try working out different exercises to get ambulance ready by August, no matter where I go, whichever service I am at, I will be the best medic I can be, and my patients will receive the best care possible.