Small Setback...Big Implication

Beyond frustrated tonight. I had a small setback that has had big mental implications on me. My prosthetic socket, the part that keeps my knee attached to my leg, is a little too big. Normally, this isn't a big deal, but with the change in the weather today my stump has shrank more than normal. This lead to my leg "bottoming out" inside the socket. Allow me to paint a picture for you, when my leg was amputated they removed 10cm of femur, the remaining muscle was then wrapped over the end of the bone and sutured together. When my leg bottoms out in the socket my weight is pressing the remnant of my femur into that muscle. Bone pain is some of the worst pain I have experienced. It's just a deep, almost toothache type pain, that is just deep inside. It's sickening, literally. So, I tried to suck it up and continue to work today, but when it got to the point that I was getting nauseated by walking, it was time to throw in the towel. My prosthetic office has already started on making a smaller socket for me, should be ready in the coming days, but this was a reality check. This was a very unwelcome reminder that despite all my efforts, I am different than how I used to be. I loathe admitting any weakness, much less one that I'm already being judged for.

I'm hoping that these instances are few and far between, but they are a part of life now. I'm lucky enough to have a very supportive system at home, and have someone who knows when I need support and to vent, and when I need a great kick in the butt to move on.

On a good note, aside from today's setback, things are going well. I've noticed that I'm still having problems with carrying patients down stairs, but that will come with more time and strength.

Until Next Time...

PM

What might have been

Last shift I was given a glimpse of what may have been. I met a man who is a recent amputee, he was very anxious and scared about what may become of him. He had his leg amputated and was given no further instructions about what is to come in the future. He was very pleased to see an amputee providing care to him. A visual representation that despite losing a leg, you don't have to limit yourself or lose who you are. All he wanted to be able to do is get back on his bicycle and ride again. I was able to give him the name of several prosthetic offices around town and instructed him to call around and find the office that will work best for him. He asked which office I used and of course I gave him the name of Kentucky Prosthetics and a very warm recommendation.

This is when it hit me. How many people out there could return to a functional lifestyle if only given the chance to get the prosthetic they need. After dealing with Humana, and reading up on the numbers of patients who are thrown into this life without given instruction on their options for how to return to their lives. I want to become an advocate for these people. A voice for the voiceless. If you are reading this, and you know of any new, or old, amputees who need help getting the equipment they need please forward them to me or to the Amputee Coalition.

Until next time. I'll be back with more news from the ambulance and lessons learned in getting back into the swing.

Prosthetic Medic