I've been contemplating the beginning of Dante's Inferno quite a lot lately. You see, in the beginning of the Divine Comedy Dante finds him self trudging along life's path to suddenly realize he's lost in a "yellow wood." Lost and alone he comes across a leopard, a lion, and a she-wolf. After all these trials he is rewarded with a guided tour though Hell.
And here I am...I find myself for the first time in a year to be unemployed (more than I can get into at this time). I am Dante, only I faced the beasts to get where I was, and now I find myself lost in a Yellow Wood.
I'm faced with the terrifying aspect of not being a "traditional" paramedic. I haven't allowed myself to entertain this thought since I made the decision to have my amputation. It has sent my entire life into a tailspin. Not only my life, but honestly my family's life as well. I find myself constantly asking myself "now what?" sadly, I can't answer that. I could return to college and try a different degree...but what in. This is all I know. This is what I'm good at; it's where I feel I belong. I ache for the speed and bright lights. I'm at my best when others are at their worst...that doesn't really translate into a 9-5 office setting.
That being said, I have to weigh the option that I may have to move on. I just don't know where or how at this point. I've thought about becoming a prosthetist, making prosthetics for others, but that is a long tedious process. Honestly, I just don't know. I'm not sure...this is a feeling I don't know what to do with. So here I am...lost wondering in dark yellow wood, just waiting for my Virgil to be my guide and show me the way out.