Defeat...Maybe Not

It's been awhile since I've sat down to write. It's not that I haven't been able to, I simply haven't wanted to. I've been, as my wife puts it, "in the bell jar." I few weeks ago I was forced to resign from my job. That left me questioning what I was doing with my life. Where do I go from here? I spent so much time and energy fighting to get back to work as a paramedic, I never stopped to plan for what happens if I have to stop...In a sense, I have been defeated. I'm in a holding pattern, waiting on a socket to make its way from Germany to Kentucky. Due to an allergic reaction I am stuck only wearing my leg for a few hours a day. When I take it off, I'm covered in hives on my stump...needless to say this is a little more than uncomfortable. I'm hoping that the new socket will be here sometime this week and I'll be able to start looking for gainful employment again. I am not meant to sit at home, but that leaves the question...what do I do? I long to be in an ambulance, so I need to find a way to still make runs, but have the time I need to heal when it's necessary. A lofty goal indeed.

Thanks to the generosity of family and friends we've been able to pay our bills for another month. The sudden loss of income couldn't have struck at a worse time. Here we are in the holiday season and we're starting from well behind where we should be. I'm determined that I will do whatever necessary to rise up from this again. I fought my way back to the ambulance, against the odds some might say. So why not apply that same determination to finding a job that allows me to fulfill my goals with my physical realizations.

I want to end tonight by thanking you all. You have all supported me throughout this rollercoaster life over the past year. Kate and I have been wrought with ups and downs throughout all of this. I was given the advice once that "you know you're doing the right thing if every step you take you have to fight for it." Well, we are fighting once again. I promise, I will find whatever lesson there is to be learned from this latest pitfall and come out stronger than I was.

Until then, thank you for your support and if you know of anyone in need of the uneven point of view a one legged medic could bring let me know.