As you can see from the post prior to this one, life has been a little busy here at the Prosthetic Medic homefront. We welcomed our son Liam to this world on January 2nd, he is a happy, healthy baby boy.
In other news Otto Bock has contacted me to do a follow up story about me now that I'm back to work. They are possibly going to do a ride along for a 24 hour shift with me to see what life is like for an amputee paramedic. I've been back to work for a little while now. I have ups and downs, I'm still waiting for my new socket. Looks like it will be ready on Thursday. I'm trying very hard to keep up with everything that's been going on, it just seems that as soon as I've taken a step forward I have to take one back. I'm happy that I have made it to where I am, I just hope that soon this process will feel more like nature. I'm still dealing with the fact that when I put on my prosthetic, it feels just like that, a prosthetic. Recently, I tried a new foot that took that feeling away somewhat. The foot is the iWalk by Biom. This foot mimics the response of the calf muscle and the achielles tendon. It's amazing to have a foot that will actually flex when I walk and assist by pushing my leg forward, the same as a "normal" person. This will be an amazing help at work, especially when walking up stairs, or pushing a patient on the stretcher. I'm quickly approaching my one year anniversary of losing my leg. I'll be posting more on that later...
I'll be back soon. For now I think I'll go feed the baby and enjoy some time with him and Kate.
Till next time PM
Follow along on the adventures of an amputee Paramedic. I have now fell into activism/advocacy work for Insurance Fairness for all amputees. I occasionally do some Motivational Speaking, I'm writing a book, and of course blogging all that stuff here. Follow me through all my wins and losses in the fight to break the stereotype of what amputees are capable of. I may write about EMS, Healthcare, Amputees, or Nonsense. Follow the blog and see what today brings!
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Introducing Liam!!!
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Small Setback...Big Implication
Beyond frustrated tonight. I had a small setback that has had big mental implications on me. My prosthetic socket, the part that keeps my knee attached to my leg, is a little too big. Normally, this isn't a big deal, but with the change in the weather today my stump has shrank more than normal. This lead to my leg "bottoming out" inside the socket. Allow me to paint a picture for you, when my leg was amputated they removed 10cm of femur, the remaining muscle was then wrapped over the end of the bone and sutured together. When my leg bottoms out in the socket my weight is pressing the remnant of my femur into that muscle. Bone pain is some of the worst pain I have experienced. It's just a deep, almost toothache type pain, that is just deep inside. It's sickening, literally. So, I tried to suck it up and continue to work today, but when it got to the point that I was getting nauseated by walking, it was time to throw in the towel. My prosthetic office has already started on making a smaller socket for me, should be ready in the coming days, but this was a reality check. This was a very unwelcome reminder that despite all my efforts, I am different than how I used to be. I loathe admitting any weakness, much less one that I'm already being judged for.
I'm hoping that these instances are few and far between, but they are a part of life now. I'm lucky enough to have a very supportive system at home, and have someone who knows when I need support and to vent, and when I need a great kick in the butt to move on.
On a good note, aside from today's setback, things are going well. I've noticed that I'm still having problems with carrying patients down stairs, but that will come with more time and strength.
Until Next Time...
PM
I'm hoping that these instances are few and far between, but they are a part of life now. I'm lucky enough to have a very supportive system at home, and have someone who knows when I need support and to vent, and when I need a great kick in the butt to move on.
On a good note, aside from today's setback, things are going well. I've noticed that I'm still having problems with carrying patients down stairs, but that will come with more time and strength.
Until Next Time...
PM
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
What might have been
Last shift I was given a glimpse of what may have been. I met a man who is a recent amputee, he was very anxious and scared about what may become of him. He had his leg amputated and was given no further instructions about what is to come in the future. He was very pleased to see an amputee providing care to him. A visual representation that despite losing a leg, you don't have to limit yourself or lose who you are. All he wanted to be able to do is get back on his bicycle and ride again. I was able to give him the name of several prosthetic offices around town and instructed him to call around and find the office that will work best for him. He asked which office I used and of course I gave him the name of Kentucky Prosthetics and a very warm recommendation.
This is when it hit me. How many people out there could return to a functional lifestyle if only given the chance to get the prosthetic they need. After dealing with Humana, and reading up on the numbers of patients who are thrown into this life without given instruction on their options for how to return to their lives. I want to become an advocate for these people. A voice for the voiceless. If you are reading this, and you know of any new, or old, amputees who need help getting the equipment they need please forward them to me or to the Amputee Coalition.
Until next time. I'll be back with more news from the ambulance and lessons learned in getting back into the swing.
Prosthetic Medic
This is when it hit me. How many people out there could return to a functional lifestyle if only given the chance to get the prosthetic they need. After dealing with Humana, and reading up on the numbers of patients who are thrown into this life without given instruction on their options for how to return to their lives. I want to become an advocate for these people. A voice for the voiceless. If you are reading this, and you know of any new, or old, amputees who need help getting the equipment they need please forward them to me or to the Amputee Coalition.
Until next time. I'll be back with more news from the ambulance and lessons learned in getting back into the swing.
Prosthetic Medic
Monday, November 19, 2012
Learning to Fail
As promised I'm back with lessons learned in my effort to adjust to life back in the ambulance. Last night I learned how much pressure I have placed on myself to succeed at this. I feel like I am setting an example for the EMS field in this area. I'm not claiming to be some great trailblazer by any means, but I feel like I'm being watched closely. That brings me to lasts night hard learned lesson, learning to fail.
Yesterday was a busy day, not one of those days where you can't catch your breath, but just steady enough to make the hours pass quickly. Most of our patients were actually very sick. I can't go into details about conditions, but it was a very ALS day none the less. My last patient for the night was critical, my first chance to really practice my skills on my own. It's fitting that the first day back in the ambulance on my own, I would be greeted by a patient that truly needed my help. As we loaded the patient onto the stretcher and made our way back to the ambulance everything was going fine. After loading the patient into the back I stepped up onto the back step, as I have learned to do, by locking out the prosthetic knee and stepping up with my sound side. This time as I went to step, I got ahead of myself and hadn't fully locked out the prosthetic. As the knee started to bend, I did the only thing I knew to do...I fell..Hard. Nothing was injured other than my pride, but it took quite a beating, seeing as I fell in front of my new partner, the patient, and a few of patients that were outside smoking as we loaded up our patient. I quickly hopped up, locked out the knee, and climbed in the back to resume patient care. It only lasted about 30 seconds total, but it was enough for me to be thrown off kilter. Once in the back I resumed treating the patient. Here I would love to tell you how the run went perfect and that was the only hiccup. Sadly, I can't report that. This was one of those runs where everything goes wrong. The patient received the best care I could provide, we arrived at the hospital with the patient doing a little better than when we picked him up, but a little better is never my goal. I prefer to work in drastically better, I pride myself on excellent patient care, but this was my test for the night. I cared for the patient. He made it safely to the ER where his condition was quickly treated, and hopefully after some time in the ICU he will be on the mend.
I realized after this run that I have placed a tremendous amount of undue stress on myself. I have placed so much emphasis on myself to succeed that failure of any amount, be it not getting an IV or as simple as not getting my paperwork completed as quickly as I would like, is not acceptable. I have a great support system, I have all the proper pillars in place to succeed, but when it comes down to it, I have built myself to accept nothing less than perfection. Last night, I realized that this is a recipe for self-destruction. I have to realize that medicine is called a practice for a reason. It's not a science, it's never exact, it's messy, it's dirty, and sometimes all things will come together and it's beautiful. That is rarely the case, I think it's more like learning to walk again; medicine, just like walking, is learning to fall gracefully. I realized last night that I'm not going to be perfect, and that is just fine. I just have to do what I have been doing, keep getting up. Learn from my mistakes, implement changes as necessary, and continue to better myself. I have to learn how to win from a failure. I have to learn to fall gracefully again.
I'm back on the ambulance Friday, time to implement the changes that I need to and make sure to lock out the knee. If I fall or fail so what, as long as I keep getting back up. The patients get the best care I can provide for them at the time, then I have succeeded. I'm trying to prove that even though I'm "disabled" I am not handicapped, I just have to adapt my methods. I'll end this with a quote I saw on the Amputee Coalition of America's FaceBook Page. "I'm not disabled, I'm just playing life on Legendary Mode"
Yesterday was a busy day, not one of those days where you can't catch your breath, but just steady enough to make the hours pass quickly. Most of our patients were actually very sick. I can't go into details about conditions, but it was a very ALS day none the less. My last patient for the night was critical, my first chance to really practice my skills on my own. It's fitting that the first day back in the ambulance on my own, I would be greeted by a patient that truly needed my help. As we loaded the patient onto the stretcher and made our way back to the ambulance everything was going fine. After loading the patient into the back I stepped up onto the back step, as I have learned to do, by locking out the prosthetic knee and stepping up with my sound side. This time as I went to step, I got ahead of myself and hadn't fully locked out the prosthetic. As the knee started to bend, I did the only thing I knew to do...I fell..Hard. Nothing was injured other than my pride, but it took quite a beating, seeing as I fell in front of my new partner, the patient, and a few of patients that were outside smoking as we loaded up our patient. I quickly hopped up, locked out the knee, and climbed in the back to resume patient care. It only lasted about 30 seconds total, but it was enough for me to be thrown off kilter. Once in the back I resumed treating the patient. Here I would love to tell you how the run went perfect and that was the only hiccup. Sadly, I can't report that. This was one of those runs where everything goes wrong. The patient received the best care I could provide, we arrived at the hospital with the patient doing a little better than when we picked him up, but a little better is never my goal. I prefer to work in drastically better, I pride myself on excellent patient care, but this was my test for the night. I cared for the patient. He made it safely to the ER where his condition was quickly treated, and hopefully after some time in the ICU he will be on the mend.
I realized after this run that I have placed a tremendous amount of undue stress on myself. I have placed so much emphasis on myself to succeed that failure of any amount, be it not getting an IV or as simple as not getting my paperwork completed as quickly as I would like, is not acceptable. I have a great support system, I have all the proper pillars in place to succeed, but when it comes down to it, I have built myself to accept nothing less than perfection. Last night, I realized that this is a recipe for self-destruction. I have to realize that medicine is called a practice for a reason. It's not a science, it's never exact, it's messy, it's dirty, and sometimes all things will come together and it's beautiful. That is rarely the case, I think it's more like learning to walk again; medicine, just like walking, is learning to fall gracefully. I realized last night that I'm not going to be perfect, and that is just fine. I just have to do what I have been doing, keep getting up. Learn from my mistakes, implement changes as necessary, and continue to better myself. I have to learn how to win from a failure. I have to learn to fall gracefully again.
I'm back on the ambulance Friday, time to implement the changes that I need to and make sure to lock out the knee. If I fall or fail so what, as long as I keep getting back up. The patients get the best care I can provide for them at the time, then I have succeeded. I'm trying to prove that even though I'm "disabled" I am not handicapped, I just have to adapt my methods. I'll end this with a quote I saw on the Amputee Coalition of America's FaceBook Page. "I'm not disabled, I'm just playing life on Legendary Mode"
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Playing for Keeps
Tomorrow we start playing for keeps. I will be working my first 24 on my new schedule and be on my own. Well, my partner and I on our own. I'm still learning to adapt to ambulance life with the prosthetic, but it's simply a learning process that I have to adapt to. It feels great to get back into the saddle, I'm a little nervous about the thousands of "what ifs" that I may possibly encounter along the way. I didn't get this far by letting them stop me, so I guess I'll just strap on my leg and move on. Hoping to pick up my thicker liner for my prosthetic tomorrow or Monday so that losing suction inside the socket, which is what I think made my leg fall off, won't happen. I'm blessed to be working for a company now that is willing to take and chance on me, and not only take a chance, but support me in whatever way I may need.
That's all for tonight. I'll be back Monday night with an update on how the shift went and any new lessons learned. Until then...
Prosthetic Medic
That's all for tonight. I'll be back Monday night with an update on how the shift went and any new lessons learned. Until then...
Prosthetic Medic
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Precept is Over...On My Own Starting Sunday
Well. I have made it to the end of my time as a 3rd person rider. So far, so good...well if you don't count that whole leg falling off thing. Aside from that one major hiccup, everything else seems to be coming back to me. I had the opportunity to visit University Hospital last night, a place that I frequented quite often while working prior to my fall. I was greeted with a very warm reception, and it felt like old times.
That being said, I am very impressed with my new employer. A member of the command staff found me yesterday just to ask how I was coping with the adjustment back into the EMS world. I had spoken with him briefly about the remote possibility of needing to stay on as a 3rd person until I had worked out an answer with my prosthetic office to remedy my untimely dismemberment while in the ambulance. Once I assured him that I will be able to start my shift this Sunday on my own he shocked me...He made it clear that the moment I need help, be it returning to 3rd person for awhile or whatever it may be, they will work with me. That is a refreshing attitude, especially coming from my corner of the EMS world. A command staff that seems to care about their employees and seem legitimately interested in retaining them.
The dust is slowly coming out from between my ears, I've had a few runs where I was able to think through some critical decision making and still have the skills to act on them. I can honestly say, for the first time in 18 months, I feel normal when I'm in the back. I have already learned to use my "disability" as a means to disarm patients and gain trust. I was very worried about not being able to gain the trust of my patients due to being different. I have learned quite the opposite, they seem to be comforted by the fact that I am there, that I have been through the healthcare system that many of them are stuck trying to navigate. One patient I was transporting informed me that he had an artificial knee, I told him "so do I" and pulled up my pant leg, he quickly started laughing and almost seemed disarmed. I think I have not lost an edge by being an "able bodied person" but gained an advantage by being different.
Prosthetic Medic
That being said, I am very impressed with my new employer. A member of the command staff found me yesterday just to ask how I was coping with the adjustment back into the EMS world. I had spoken with him briefly about the remote possibility of needing to stay on as a 3rd person until I had worked out an answer with my prosthetic office to remedy my untimely dismemberment while in the ambulance. Once I assured him that I will be able to start my shift this Sunday on my own he shocked me...He made it clear that the moment I need help, be it returning to 3rd person for awhile or whatever it may be, they will work with me. That is a refreshing attitude, especially coming from my corner of the EMS world. A command staff that seems to care about their employees and seem legitimately interested in retaining them.
The dust is slowly coming out from between my ears, I've had a few runs where I was able to think through some critical decision making and still have the skills to act on them. I can honestly say, for the first time in 18 months, I feel normal when I'm in the back. I have already learned to use my "disability" as a means to disarm patients and gain trust. I was very worried about not being able to gain the trust of my patients due to being different. I have learned quite the opposite, they seem to be comforted by the fact that I am there, that I have been through the healthcare system that many of them are stuck trying to navigate. One patient I was transporting informed me that he had an artificial knee, I told him "so do I" and pulled up my pant leg, he quickly started laughing and almost seemed disarmed. I think I have not lost an edge by being an "able bodied person" but gained an advantage by being different.
Prosthetic Medic
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