Thanks to all that have helped!!!

Sunday, April 8, 2012

11 Stories, 11 months

It's been 11 months to the day since I fell. It's hard to believe that 11 months ago my life was going great. I was dating my best friend, I was about to start my vacation. I had decided that I was going to take a month off for the first time in six years. It was going great. I was precepting an amazing new paramedic, I loved being able to teach him and prepare him for the busy and pressure filled world of Metro EMS. I was excited for my vacation to recharge my batteries and then go back refreshed and ready to move up the ranks at metro EMS. I had no idea that one month later, what started as an amazing day would change my life forever.

Now I'm on the precipice of another life altering decision. I'm fighting tooth and nail to go back to a service who is making it obvious has no interest in my return. Don't get me wrong, my coworkers are very supportive, for the most part. There are a few who are unsupportive, but I realize I'll encounter that anywhere I go. For the rest of my life I'll have to prove myself, I'm ok with that. I have just realized that even if LMEMS takes me back, I'll spend every shift walking on eggshells because I'll be a target for command. They say "even if we fire you, we will take you back as soon as you're ready." Now, my biggest supporter, our former Car 1 (operations command) has retired and with that coupled with the mayors office ignoring my every request to speak with the mayor and the radio silence that has met every message on the social media front, do I really want to go back there. What keeps me wanting to return are the amazing people I worked with. I had the pleasure of working with some of the finest EMT's and Patamedics in the state. I hate to lose that but I deserve better. I'm no hero, but I've had enough stressing over this and losing sleep worrying about pleasing them. I will go back to the streets. I may be on a truck or fly, but I'll be there somewhere. 11 months ago I nearly died. The laws of physics were against me, and you know Gravity is the law and you can't break it, but it surely tried to break me. I fell 11 stories, worked for months to save a leg that didn't work, amputated said leg, and now am well ahead of where I should be. That's not good enough for an exception or extension then I'll find an agency that would love to have a Prosthetic Medic.

In one month I'll be one year out. I will be off of the cane and proudly walk out of my house that day. I hope to return to Tioga Falls, the bottom this time, and not the fast way I took last time. I just want to go there and bury this, look my demon in the eye and get on with life. 11 stories, 11 months, and I'm alive. I'm going to make the best of it if you don't want me, somebody else does.

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