Thanks to all that have helped!!!

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Getting it off my chest...2 posts today, I had more to say I guess

I have to get a few things off my chest. First and foremost. As the surgery gets closer and closer I have to say I am terrified. I find myself looking down at my leg and find it hard to imagine it being gone. I know that it is broken and is causing more damage with each step, but at the same time i'm terrified. What will people say about me, what will I look like, will my fiance find me sexy (I know it's hard to think that she finds the fat, balding redneck sexy in the first place), can I really do this? Am I strong enough to be "the Prosthetic Medic" like I have promised so many people? Then we get yet another kick to the groin, those of you who are close to my fiance and I know what I'm speaking of...

So here we are. This past month my fiance and I suffered a horrible loss. We had something to look forward too, but alas that has since been taken away. God decided with the amount of things we have going on now was not the time. So, a week later,  the final piece of that puzzle was removed in a surgical procedure. After that was done we started the lead up to my surgery. I had an appointment with Dr Ross to schedule the removal of my left leg. Ironically, Dr Ross is the surgeon who spent hours on the night of May 8th trying to save the tattered mess that was my left leg. He will be instrumental in giving me back my life, he was back then and it seems he will be now. God, please bless his hands, because he is the only surgeon I trust to give me a functional stump and life back. I am literally placing my life in his hands, for the second time in less than a year.

In a direct attack on my own pride I have swallowed every bit of it and began asking people for help financially to pay for our bills and my insurance out of pocket. I have no paid time off left after the initial round of surgery, so I am left begging for help from  friends and family. I have to find a way to keep my insurance so I can get the leg I need to return to work. My fiance is busy dealing with our tragedy and still searching for a second job, all while being amazingly supportive of me during my PTSD flashbacks and emotional breakdowns. I really don't see how she does it. She is my anchor, my rock, and I pray that one day I'll be able to make her a mother again. She really is the best thing that ever happened to me, aside from my beautiful son.

I want to take the time to apologize for the constant fundraiser reminders I post. I know most of you have to be sick of them, but I just need Humana Insurance to get that leg and don't want to make my family and myself homeless while I'm off for the surgery. I do make this promise to each and everyone of you. I look at every dollar given as a promise made that I will work my ass off to get back on the truck. I am going to be the prosthetic medic. I am going to run after my sons again. This has been the longest, hardest, most difficult climb I have ever attempted to make. I find it appropriate that I correlate this challenge to a mountain, considering a mountain got me here.

So I want to thank all of you have taken the time and given to my cause. I promise you, I will use every penny towards paying insurance or bills. You are financing my future. You are helping me keep a roof over my families head. i just had to get these things out and off my chest. I'm sorry. I will try to cut the fundraising effort down a little, if you can give please do and If you can't thank you just keep praying for us.

As always, I love each and everyone of you,

And to my loving fiance. You are the strongest most amazing woman I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. You are my best friend. I cannot breathe without you. I promise to fight, to stay with you this Thursday.  I can't take a breath without knowing you are there by my side. I know I've told you, but you saved my life. As I lay at the bottom of the waterfall back in May I begged God to let me live, to give me a chance at a life with you and he did.  I love you and this will bring us closer together. I am your man. I will be your husband, and together we will get through this.

I love you,

Your soon to be Bionic Redneck


  1. I'm thinking about you all Joe! I have enjoyed reading these blogs, it was a cool idea, you doing this. By next summer we are all gonna be out in the circle playing kickball with our kids! =)

  2. Joe, You and your family are in my prayers. I have donated yet but I am. I promise. I want to help. I know that you have been through alot but you can do it. You are strong and good hearted. God is with you. Love you guys, Shannon Bradley