So I got my son today. This is the last time I'll get to see him before the surgery. I've tried my best to be a good influence for him. To teach him right from wrong, to show him what a man is supposed to be. For the most part I think that I've done a good job, but today I have a new challenge. How do you explain to a 7 year old why daddy has to get his leg cut off. I've told him that after the surgery I'll be like I used to be but I'll have a "robot leg" and I'll be able to play with him again. This is when I started getting the hard to answer questions..."Daddy, why would God let this happen?" I had to think really hard on this one. The answer I came up with wasn't eloquent, but it seemed to get the job done. I told him that sometimes bad things happen to good people, and the most important thing is how good people handle bad things. For instance, I am choosing to look at this as a chance to change peoples minds about what 1 legged people can do (I would have said amputees but he's 7 and figured this would get the point across better). And really, that is my goal. I'm trying to prove that just because I'm losing my leg it doesn't mean that my intelligence is handicapped as well. I know that I can do my job. As long as I get the right prosthetic then I'll be able to pass my companies physical agility test at which point they will have to give me the chance to prove what a Prosthetic Medic can do. In the end this is the most important thing to me. To show my son, and soon to be step son, that if you are determined there is nothing that is impossible, or as I was told by a gruff stepdad growing up "Can't never could do nothing!!!" Growing up I hated that saying, but as an adult it's a lesson I want to teach my boys. If you think you Can't you never will. I like it...well...I live it.
So now I have 12 days till the surgery, my fiancee' and I have a busy few weeks ahead of us. On top of planning for my surgery, we recently lost a pregnancy. So we have her follow up appointment from her D&C, trying to get her employer to give her a few days off for my surgery, and trying to find a way to boost our income so we can keep my insurance, get my leg, and hopefully not become homeless in the process.
Keep following along and I'll keep updating you on how things are going. I plan on writing while in the hospital as well.