We all have a dark side. That voice inside you that brings all your fears and doubts to the fore front. The part of you that wants to cheat and steal to get what you want. Some call it hedonism, some call it narcissism, but no matter what your definition of it is, you have it. Everyone from priests to thieves, it's engrained in the human DNA. I have mine, that's for sure. For me, my dark side has been focusing in on my failures and fears of loss. Yes, I'm afraid. I'm scared of losing my job, my family, my fiance', I'm fearful of losing everything I have worked for prior to falling off that waterfall. Facing that fear has become a daily battle. Fighting off that dark side, he is very persistent "Come to the Dark Side, we have cookies..."
Now that I'm finally realizing my goal it seems that I am able to not fight this battle everyday, while that is great and very helpful, it just means it comes back with a vengeance. Why not, it's had a few days to get affairs in order to really test my patience. My biggest fears have been losing Kate and losing my career as a medic. That's it. They are out in the open. Kate has done an amazing job of reassuring me that no matter the outcome of this journey, she will be there. If I was never to walk again, she would be there by my side, taking care of me through it all. She's an amazing woman. Next, being a medic. I have come to terms that my goal is lofty. I have decided that I am going to fight tooth and nail to reach it, going to go out with no regrets or 'what ifs,' and if I fail then at least I did all I could. I have a back up plan, I can always finish my nursing degree or even dabble in flight medicine. I think my prosthetic will be rated for flight...
Any way feeling like Eddie and the Cruisers...On the Dark Side...sorry bad movie songs are a weakness.
Follow along on the adventures of an amputee Paramedic. I have now fell into activism/advocacy work for Insurance Fairness for all amputees. I occasionally do some Motivational Speaking, I'm writing a book, and of course blogging all that stuff here. Follow me through all my wins and losses in the fight to break the stereotype of what amputees are capable of. I may write about EMS, Healthcare, Amputees, or Nonsense. Follow the blog and see what today brings!
Did you know that you made the Mental Floss website last week? As one of the "Challenge Accepted: 8 Inspiring Stories" post
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Recently saw "Impossible... put a space between the 2nd & 3rd letters & u get Im possible." Hang in there. Your fears are valid. As a medic with an above the knee prosthesis, I have found ways to adapt and overcome. Just remember there is more than one way to skin a cat. As long as the cat gets skinned...who cares how it got done. Peace brother!
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