Learning to Fail...

Who knows you? I mean really knows you? Who do you tell your intimate secrets too? I know my answer to this question. It's great to have that one person in your life who has seen you at your best and worst and loves you equally for both of these people. That person who has seen you without your mask on. We all wear masks, we walk out the door and cover up our true identities and feelings to spare those of the strangers around us. Don't believe me...next time you go to the store and the clerk asks how you are, tell the truth and see how quickly things get uncomfortable. Some days my mask gets to heavy to wear, it's these days that Kate helps me recharge and quickly reminds me that 1.) You're human, you're allowed to be upset, depressed, and most of all you're allowed to be happy. 2.) She reminds me that I'm not who people want me to be. I am who I am and if people don't like it, then they can get over it or get out. I've learned that due to the issues I'm having with self-image post surgery, it's very important for me to realize that I don't have to be "The Prosthetic Medic" yet, all I have to do is get better. Take my time and heal, both mentally and physically. It's easy for me to want to get ahead of myself and push myself harder than I need to, just to try to make you, the collective public and friends, proud of me. I've always pushed myself to be the best. I wanted to be an EMT, so I was top of the class, I wanted to be a Paramedic, so same story. My main goal was to be that medic that when I arrived on scene my coworkers could breathe a sigh of relief knowing that I was going to take control and it would be done right. Now that I'm fighting to make it back, I have the same drive. Now that I'm an amputee, I want to be the best one-legged medic ever. I want to people to be able to say that "You'd never know he was an amputee if he didn't own it." So, luckily I have my girl to bring me down to earth and keep me focused and not crushed when I don't make it to a benchmark I've set for myself.

Oh and for those following at home, Bryson was here this weekend. He asked to see and touch my leg, then he was fine and just went off to play. His biggest concern now is that I get my "robot leg" so we can go to the zoo and play. That's all for tonight. Till next time. Same amp time same amp channel.