First, I want to thank everyone for their messages of support, both on here and my facebook and twitter accounts. For now, I am letting Kentucky Prosthetics handle the fight with Humana. That being said, once they say that I can speak out I may have to ask for a little more vocal support against this heartless company. It saddens me that we have gotten to a place in our country where the company's best interest goes above that of the patients best interest. I am now over my initial shock and breathlessness and now I'm ready for this fight. I'm utterly pissed that I was told that the company doesn't care if I function to the top of my ability, just so I can function somewhat. SOMEWHAT!!!!
Now, lets look at this. I could give up, take this mechanical knee and try my best to get back to work. The problem with this is, in a mechanical knee you can't go up and down stairs step over step, the weight restrictions are less, so I can't lift as much. Yes, if I was able to work out of a response car then maybe this would be possible. The problem is, this isn't a possibility for me where I am working right now. I enjoy where I work. I love working 911 in this city. I love the excitement of never having the same day twice. The joys of either working in the suburbs dealing with random "country" injuries and illnesses, then going down to the hood and treating gunshot wounds and "urban outdoorsmen." I love my job, I love my city. I will fight for this leg so I can return there. I'm blessed to have a fiance that is willing to fight this fight with me. She has been my rock, and continues to be right beside me through all of this. Now, I'm blessed enough to have a group of readers who I consider another source of inspiration. I don't want to let any of you down. Especially Kate and the rest of my family.
I know I have spoke of it before, but my old friends "fear and doubt" continue to creep in my head. They seem to walk hand in hand, trying to be detrimental to any progress I make, both physically and mentally. I have made the decision that I will let them stick around, I have discovered that they are great motivators. Neither one of them are necessarily bad, as long as you keep them under check. It's when you let your fear and doubt overshadow your drive and hope that the failures become too monumental to overcome. So tonight I end with this. Accept your fears, accept your doubts, they aren't going anywhere. They are going to continue to creep in, no matter what your are going through. No matter what fight you are fighting, you're going to continue to deal with these two little critters. So, instead of running from them or giving in to them, use them to strengthen your resolve. I know I am.