Monday, February 13, 2012
I took the night off last night to spend time with Kate. I needed the time to let my brain rest. That being said, today was a huge step forward in my journey toward my goal. First, we went to Dr Ross to get my first post op check up and to have the staples and sutures removed. I was joined by one of the staff members at Kentucky Prosthetics whom I am using for my prosthetic care. After the staples were removed, Dr Ross tested my mobility of my stump and is very pleased with the functionality and progress that I have. We then went to Kentucky Prosthetics to have the first of many measurements for my socket, the portion of the prosthetic that will actually slide over my stump and attach to the prosthetic knee. I was thrilled to hear that the goal is to have me up and walking on my own in the next 4 weeks. They expect to be denied my Humana today for my knee, which is the first step in getting the city of Louisville to step in and approve me for the Genium knee that I need so desperately. The plan B, if you will, is to order the microprocessor knee that is one step down from the Genium, the C-Leg. While the Genium nearly guarantees that I can return to work, the C-Leg just means I have to work harder to overcome my physical limitations, since I won't have a leg to do that for me. I'm nervous about all of this. I won't pretend that I know anything about insurance or how approvals and appeal processes work, all I know is that this is the final piece of the puzzle that is stopping my rehab. This is the last cog in a complex series of gears I have placed over the last 9 months to try to do the impossible. Well, seemingly impossible to me. I am ready to start this ascent, I think I know how a hiker feels the weeks before the biggest climb of his life, the mental preparation, the physical preparedness, and the gut wrenching nerves that build when he thinks about it. I am about to climb this mountain, I am prepared for the climb. That doesn't make this any less nerve wrenching or make me any less afraid of the fall. For me, falling doesn't mean sliding down the mountain side and plummeting over the edge, I've done that already. I've had my fall, to me the fall means failure. Failing to live up to the high expectations I have set, failing to take to the prosthetic like I want to, even failing to get the prosthetic I have built my mind around getting. There are so many pitfalls in this journey. So many places that I can trip up and fall flat on my face. I realize that there are going to be set backs, it would be foolish to think that I'm just going to strap on this leg and take off, I know that is an unrealistic goal. I have decided I will celebrate the small victories. Today, I celebrate moving down a size in stump shrinkers and getting my staples out. So, for those reading this...take the time to celebrate any small victories you may have accomplished today. I know today I won these small battles and small victories end up in winning large wars.