Not feeling it

Sorry for the missed post yesterday. I just was not feeling my normal verbose self. Today is a much better day. I just had so much on my mind yesterday that it would not translate to my fingertips. I'm trying to get through this rough patch, I know there are going to be good days and bad, but I'm kinda feeling bipolar as of late. I'm just so nervous about getting this prosthetic in and attached to me, but excited that the fight with the insurance company is over. I'm mostly nervous about paying for my health insurance, we have managed to get our bills paid for the month, but another month is creeping up fast and I'm not making any money right now, aside from what I have left in the  PayPal account, which I will be transferring out soon. I knew that things were going to get rough, but I am learning first hand that telling myself something, and actually doing it are two very different things. I tried to prepare as best I could, but honestly, there is no preparing for the anxiety this induces.

On a happier note, I now know that my socket will be made of black woven carbon fiber, and I can choose a design to bring in and they will add it to my socket. Now, I just have to find a design that I like on a t-shirt to add to it. I'm looking for some sort of Celtic design I think. I'm so indecisive about this...there are so many options out there and I just can't decide. I want something that either nods to my heritage or to who I am trying to become...just not sure what to do. I also go in on Monday, hopefully, to take my first steps on a prosthetic. Hopefully, it'll be mine, but if not they said they would have me up on a system just to make sure the socket fits correctly. Kate will be there to shoot video for the first steps and if I can figure out how I'll upload the video here so everyone can see it. I cannot wait to walk again. I'm literally very nervous about it and extremely excited.

Tonight I end with asking for your continued support. You have all been amazing and I love hearing from you. It's great motivation to see that I'm getting out there and helping others, even if I can't do it on the ambulance. Thank you all so much.