3 steps

So tonight Logan asked me "Where do you work?" of course I answered him that currently I don't work, but before I fell I was a paramedic at Louisville Metro EMS, "Do you still work there?" Well, yes and no, I'm still employed there but I can't go back to work till I'm able to use my leg the right way. "When are they going to fire you?" I don't know buddy....That was the lie...I do know. Well, I have an idea of when, from HR I am going to be terminated in May, I'm being forced to fill out the "American's with Disabilities Act paperwork" which will either result in them saying they can't find a spot for me within Metro Government or getting transferred out of EMS to another department within the Government system at a much lower pay grade. I'm going to get this paperwork turned in as soon as my physician has it filled out and roll the dice I suppose. Part of me wants to just walk away from the whole ordeal, but Momma didn't raise a quitter. I'll see where this goes, just because they offer a new position doesn't mean that I'm going to take it. I want to stay with the agency I have spent the last 6 years with. I don't think that's too much to ask. If/When they do "release me," isn't that a nice way of saying you're fired, I will move on. Kate and I are already planning on a way for me to lose some weight to get down to flight weight. Even if I never fly I need to lose the weight anyway. The less I way they easier it will be on my body and my organic leg.

On a positive note...I got my socket fixed. It fits comfortably once I get it on and get settled down into it. I'll have to put the gel cap back on starting tomorrow since I started to bottom out today at the end of the day. Now for the exciting part. Today I took 3 steps without any assistance...not a cane or crutch to help me, just me. It was ugly, awkward, and terrifying...but if a journey of 1,000 miles starts with one step I got the first 3 steps out of the way. I have to learn to trust my prosthetic and learn when to fire my leg muscles to support myself better and allow for a smoother gait. That's the hard part, on crutches, my gait is smoother, but I'm not allowing myself to put all my weight on my stump. Tomorrow I hope to take 4 steps or if I only take 2 they will be better than they were before. PT comes tomorrow and I get to work some more on learning to live life as a uniped.