Thanks to all that have helped!!!

Friday, March 30, 2012

Getting the Boys

Excited for tomorrow. Tomorrow I get my sons. For the first time in nearly a month we get to have Logan and Bryson both, and we get to keep them till Monday!!! I'm not sure if I can do it, but I'm very tempted to try to take them to the zoo and just see how long I can walk. I want them to see that nothing can stop them. That no matter what the obstacle you can plow through and use that obstacle to be more than you ever thought you could be in the first place.

During this journey from cocky paramedic to invalid (hell it's how I have felt for the past year) to working my way back to getting to be that cocky paramedic again. I have learned that while there are good days and bad days on the average I can wake up and say I am alive. I am more alive today than I was 2 years ago. I have been through a deep valley, I should be dead. How many people fall 11 stories and live to tell the tell. Yes, I lost a leg. I didn't lose my life or my mind or my ability. I feel like I can still get on the truck and function in the back just the same as I did before. The hurdle now is the transition from scene to truck that will be the issue. I'm trying to decide on my next design for the leg, soon I will be moving to a soft socket with a carbon fiber cage. I'm thinking about phrases to wrap the cage in. I want something in either celtic or english. I was looking at something either funny or motivational or a mixture of both. You guys help me come up with some phrases. I'm ready to be back to who I was. I want to be that cocky medic again, I want to walk into a scene and prove that I am the conductor. During my time as a Preceptor I tried to teach my preceptees that as a medic you are the conductor of the scene, just the same as an orchastra, if you are disjointed and out of control, your scene will be the same. If you are cool, calm, and collected then your scene will be the same. I can think of dozens of runs where I was cool as a cucumber but inside I was a cyclone of thoughts and worries. I want that feeling again, It's that feeling that I miss more than anything.


  1. I love "Eleven Stories"--it sounds like the title for your book. What if you put that on your leg?? :-)

  2. I found this at apathetic medic. Unfortunately, he doesn't write anymore and the link is no good. You inspire me to be a better person and EMT. I love your insights and admire your determination. We are all cheering for you. When you get back on that truck you will be an even better medic because of this experience. Any company would be stupid to refuse you.
    "On the surface, the duck looks cool, collected and relaxed. It's just floating around the pond. But, under the surface, that damn thing is kicking it's legs 200mph to get to where it's going. It's all over the place and it's moving a mile a minute. THAT is how you need to be! When you're in front of a patient, you should be calm and cool. Like Fonzie, if you will. At the same time, your mind needs to be going at light-speed. You have to think 10 steps ahead of yourself. You have to take in alot of information quickly, assimilate it and interpret what it means for your patient. Your brains needs to be working like the ducks legs....under the surface." -
    Thank you for being an inspiration for us all.

  3. Just remember the Welsh are celts too. Cymru Am Byth is pretty powerful. However, the Norse are about as strong and stubborn as anyone and they have some great sayings. You are an huge inspiration to me. Thank you.
    Peace Heddwch